Honoring Your Pain

Pain is a universal experience.

When we see others hurt, even people we may not know, we hurt with them and for them. It is an experience that we all have some familiarity with, even though we may not be aware of it at times. That’s because we either hide it and pretend it’s not there or we run from it and attempt to escape or very few of us will face it and grow through it.

Ever had that tight, constricted, heavy feeling as if a truck just crushed your chest from the internal emotional pain because it hurts that bad? Then you find yourself asking, “why” to the Universe and you feel crushed even more because you’re not hearing any answers in return? Then you start to feel a bit lost and hopeless.

It’s because we get so lost in that feeling of pain that we become too blind to see that the pain we are feeling is  in itself … the answer. 

I know that might be little bit hard to swallow so let me explain.

What I’ve learned and continue to learn about experiencing pain is that it can be our greatest messenger and teacher. There is a reason why it found a temporary home inside your heart. It didn’t just land there. It didn’t just choose to be there. It’s there because it’s trying to tell you something. It’s there for a reason.

At first when the pain arises, it whispers- you can barely hear it.

And we refuse to listen.

So the decibel of the pain gets louder,

and louder,

and louder.

Until we are forced to have no choice but to listen to the conflict that is living within us and to understand why it’s there.

Have you ever had a cut on your finger?  Notice how when you have wounds, that through time, the body miraculously heals it. The same thing happens when we experience emotional pain, it eventually gets healed. But that’s hard for us to grasp because it feels like it’s never going to go away.

And that arises from our fear of facing it. 

I often get asked how I’m so happy all the time. And I answer with honesty. Here’s the truth. I’m not happy all the time. Being a human being is the hardest job in the world and boy, does life throw challenges your way! I have some times that I feel like curling up in a ball in my sweats with a carton of ice cream and just licking the spoon until I fall asleep.

But just because I, my ego, is not happy all the time doesn’t mean that I am not aware that my happiness is always alive within me. Happiness is always within you. You can never lose it but you can lose sight of it.  Sometimes happiness has to take a break because there’s something coming up that we are to learn and we’re not learning it from happiness, we learn it from tragedy, we learn it from pain. Then as soon as we heed the lesson we are to learn, the pain not only is surrendered but the happiness reappears a tenfold stronger than before.

So why honor your pain? Because it is the messenger to your happiness. 

It’s from knowing pure pain that we know pure happiness, the kind never goes away.

If I could share with you one thing that I’ve learned about eternal, unbounded happiness, it’s that it doesn’t mean that everything about your life is perfect.  Because somewhere deep inside, a part of you already knows that the pain that you feel is meant to be there. Eternal happiness is about all the simple, little things. It’s about stringing together all the small victories to get a dose of the big ones.

It’s about feeling defeated but still picking yourself back up to stand on your own two feet.

It’s about seeing bright colors even during a time when all the places seem dark.


Did you ever solve puzzles as a kid? It was one of my favorite things to do.

Life is analogous to a box of your favorite puzzle; the one with the perfect scenic view. You dump the box out to find the pieces messy, disorganized, and everything but put together.

But you pause.

You step back.

You develop patience.

And one by one you stick the pieces together and you get excited because it’s actually becoming something. Sometimes you got frustrated because there were some pieces that didn’t seem to have a place in the puzzle. Eventually, your persistence in fitting together all the other pieces gave those pieces a home. You then find yourself sitting in front of the pieces that got you frustrated, the ones that made you mad, the pieces that made you feel hurt, the pieces that got you happy that somehow are all placed together into this beautiful masterpiece.
In the end, you’ll come to look back at your life and realize that all the fears, the doubts, the worries surrounding that pain never mattered anyway.

Because it was always Perfect.


In Love and Light,

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