9 Surefire Things I Know About Purposefully Letting Go

You and I both know that as human beings, we all have something we are dealing with everyday that we know we kind of need to let go of. It can be negative thoughts you have when it comes to dealing with yourself and others. It can be letting go of debilitating relationships with your friends and partner. It can be taking the courageous step to quit your job that you absolutely hate. It can even be getting rid of them old clothes in the closet that you hoard but never touch. Or at a deeper level, it can be something very painful …. like letting go of the grief of losing a loved one.

As long as we are here on Mother Earth, we all have something that we are in process of letting go of. And the reason being that we have such a hard time letting go of these things is because of our attachment to them.


What do I mean by this?

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I am often shared many stories of women and men in relationships in which they know deep down to their gut that the person they are with do not make them happy but they are still involved in it anyway. (Hey, i’ve once experienced this myself.) Actually, with the lack of real communication in the 21st century and increasing studies showing an overwhelming amount of the population with feelings of loneliness and unhappiness— this is a very, very common and active problem.

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People are afraid to be lonely so they find someone or something to become attached to.

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You know deep down that the perfection that you see this other person is a made up concept of your imaginations that you have for them in your own mind.

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(Meet the common mind dialogue from many women and hey even you men vice versa)

“Oh, he’s gonna be such a good husband. I mean he has so many father-like qualities. He knows how to do this and that. And all the kids love him. He’s handsome. He’s funny. He’s just perfect.”

….and trust, the list goes on.

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Turns out your imagination isn’t real and the reality is, this person that you made up in your head isn’t who you really thought they were. You spend your time living in the future or comparing this person to someone in your past and as a result, you remain stuck in the relationship because you are attached to the idea and imagination of that person. 

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Let’s try another example that I know we can all relate to: 

FOOD. 

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We love our food ( aint nothin wrong with that). But often times, a large percentage of the population will spend their time staring at food as they ponder back and forth in their minds the excuses to, let’s say — eat them donut(s) or hound them burger(s). We attach ourselves to the excuses of satisfying our taste buds with these foods.

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“IF I eat this plate of these gooey, chocolatey, donuts THEN I will be happy.”

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The reality is, you will be happy alright. Very happy when you bite into them gooey donuts. But only for a moment. Because sure enough, 10 minutes later, more often then not, you will feel lethargic, bloated and a sudden crash from the highs of the glycemix index in that donut.

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So what do I know about actively and purposefully letting go?


9  S u r e f i r e  T h i n g s   I  K  n o w   A b o u t   P u r p o s e f u l l y  L e t t i n g  G o


1. Get Rid of Your Attachment

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 Practice the art of non-attachment (a practice you will hear more often if you stick around with me long enough). Understand that the pain we experience so often in our lives is due to our attachment to these experiences. You only have yourself as a lifelong best friend. Instead of investing your attachment to material things and relationships, invest those feelings of attachment to your innermost self.

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2. Know That There is Always More to Let Go Of

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You will meet times in your life where you will have to let go of things you can’t even come to understand but you know it’s not right for you.  It’s a part of being human and guess what? It’s messy. It’s hard to do. And it is never ending.  But that’s what makes it so extremely f*bomb Beautiful.

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3. Pain Is Necessary

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   I won’t try to make it sound easy because yes, it’s going to hurt. At some points you will feel

   so crippled that from the inside out, you will feel like a broken engine. But accept the pain and

   face it. When you can deal with pain in the right perspective, it will lead you to growth

   and expansion.

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4. One Step at a Time 

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 It’s a process that takes small increments at a time. Slowly, slowly, release your attachment.    Remind yourself why you’re doing it. Ask yourself, how the current circumstance makes you feel. Easy… slowly and slowly let it go.

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5. Hug Yourself 

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 Be gentle on yourself through the process. Physically and emotionally hug yourself every step of the way and tell yourself that you are doing this for the betterment of your being.

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6. Acceptance is Freedom

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  When you can accept the circumstance in which you are in, when you can accept the pain and the sadness, your wound will heal much faster than you think. You will feel a sense of freedom.

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7. The Sooner, the Better

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Pause.

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Take a moment and think about the first time you let go of something that was not serving you good. And take yourself through that process. How did it feel? And after it was all done, don’t cha wish you did it sooner? So why not do it again this time? The sooner you let it go, the better.

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8. Holding On is Actually More Painful 

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Try this: Clench your hands together to make a fist as tight and as long as you can. Notice what happens to your body physically and emotionally. Your fists and arms start to shake. Your hands hurt from clenching so hard. Your emotions start to rage and take control. And when you eventually decide to straighten your hands out, first it’ll be hard to do and next, it’ll feel super strange. But when you can finally straighten them out again, you feel free. That’s almost what happens when you hold onto grudges and negative things in your life. But when you finally let go, it becomes less painful and liberating.

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9. Surrender to the Flow 

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Release the desire to want to be in control of things all the time. And surrender your self and your thoughts to the flow of life. After all, it’s a beautiful dance once you learn to accept what it throws at you.

I say to myself as you can also say to yourself:

Deep deep down in the pit of my Soul, I know that I don’t need these things. It is not optimal to my existence. So I lovingly and willingly will surrender to the flow of the Universe. Letting Go. That is where I find my Freedom. That where I find my Bliss. And there, I am free.

If you need more inspiration, check out Frozen’s Let It Go while you reflect and dance to the song in your living room.

Go ahead sunshine. Let that be You.

In love and light,

Sandy

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