Why hello to you! Long behold the post that you have all been anxiously waiting for.
- “How did you do?!”
- “DID YOU PLACE?”
- “Are you competing again?!”
- How was the experience?
As patience is the sweetest virtue, I finally get to answer all of your questions in full details today.
The fitness industry is quite a small sphere, once you step foot in the door, you suddenly know someone everywhere you go. It’s pretty awesome. Every year competitors make a decision and work their tails off their ends with training, prepping, along with other important things going on their lives to make their way to the one of the most glorious moments — the stage.
Lights glowing, cameras flashing, people screaming, music blasting, pure thrilling excitement.
Behind every face there is an untold story. People compete for all different kinds of reasons. Some do it just to get their foot wet, some do it to solidify their title as a trainer, some do it just to win the trophy to add to their bucket list, some do it to find strength and confidence in themselves, some to do it for an opportunity to gain face in the public with sponsorships and modeling gigs, some do it for the pure excitement, some do it to prove something to themselves, and some do it to fight back against the monster that was hiding in their past, keeping them from moving forward, whether it be a bad memory or curing from a disease that dwindled them. I found myself looking through many of these different set of eyes and somehow I see it all… those hidden stories that drive them to this profound moment their in lives.
Me? Why did I decide to compete? As I’ve discussed in my “Art of Bodybuilding video ” I decided to compete for a different reason than everyone else. My end goal was never the trophy, but to compete against my biggest monster. The little me. The me with trash bags in the attic that needed desperately to be taken out. To prove me to Me. To heal from my inner grievances after losing so many key figures in my life. To let go and to forgive. To fight my inner battles.
Bodybuilding to me is a mere form of beautified art. I don’t state the term body building as we have come to know it. In a sense, we are all body builders. Depending on what we feed ourselves, we are either building a slow, unhealthy body or a healthy, fit and active body.
For me, it’s the art of building a human being’s mental capacity of instilled discipline, self control, and strength to persevere through any tough situation to get the desired stage in ones life. The amount of growth that I have accumulated in this short journey of 5 months is more than I have in my 21 years of being alive. I learned more myself than I could ever imagine. Not only that, I built a close and healthy relationship with my mind and body, knowing securely, that I will never go back to that mental state of depression . As I found myself waking up, becoming happier and more lively everyday through this journey, I wanted to use this as an opportunity to share my message to the world about my written wake up call. So I was determined to get in the physical condition that I needed to be in to simply step on stage and do exactly what I envisioned, continue to share my message. That would have been the biggest trophy for me. That would have made me feel so profoundly fulfilled.
I got out of this experience much more than I could ever imagine. The people that I met backstage were all such beautiful kinds of people, people who have passion, drive and determination to carry out the things they love in their lives to get to where they want to be. Mind you these include mothers over the age of 42 with a full kind of life. It was amazing to be in a room of people who understood and had the same kind of passion for living healthy as much as I did. You would think that I am talking about solely the competitors but not just them. I’m talking about the people who work for WBFF, from the tanning, to the organizing, to the promoting, to the hosting, everyone was fumed with bright, warm welcoming smiles and it sure added to my positive burst of energy already. Knowing that I am another second closer to fulfilling my vision, with low food intake and little water due to peak time before the stage, I felt like I was fed buckets of sugar on a high for life. Squatting in my heels, doing push ups and joking around with everyone back stage as if I was fully fed and had all the energy I needed.
But that works in the art of the mind. You are only weak when you allow yourself to be.
So being my time competing as a bikini diva, did I place? Physically to the audience, the judges, and the logical paper form, I did not place. I did not win a trophy. But imaginatively, I won the biggest trophy that I could ever ask for. That trophy exists beyond the possession of a physical object but rather an immaterial form.
The trophy of believing in yourself enough to conquer what many others told you you could not overcome. The trophy of finding your truest form of inner beauty and letting it shine across the stage in reflection of a large roaring crowd. The trophy of confidently gracing oneself with the utmost security to make others feel beautiful as well. The trophy of seeing people’s faces light up after telling them something about themselves that they could never self recognize. The trophy of inspiring, touching, and speaking to people’s hearts while changing their lives with your sincere words. The trophy of being able to be so inspired by the people who support you. The trophy of carrying along thousands of people across the world and showing them that anything you want in your life, you can have.
Just as you can design your own body, you can design your own life.
The trophy of lighting the room 27 pounds lighter than what used to be 5 months ago.
That’s the concept of my life.
That’s the kind of trophy I won. And that kind of trophy far exceeds any material form of golden metal.
June 28, 2013- Registration Day
A beautiful kind of family to belong to
The man, Bricks, Actor, Emcee, Radio Host, Body builder and motivational speaker who
kept the spirits up and running the entire weekend with this extreme enthusiasm and positivity. Thank you Bricks.
Harry, the talented photographer of LHGFX capturing fierce moments of beautifulness behind all the hot models you see
A very sweet friend of mine, Karen who motivates her girls in Total Body Advantage formed by her and her sweet love Doug. We connected through a simple moment on instagram, and it continues from there. Beautiful heart this woman has.
After my tan sitting in on the meeting with all the other models and athletes
My amazing coach Sean Larson, owner of the ELITE Personal Performance and a whole hunch of REALNESS i tell you. <3 <3 Love my coaches.
If you enjoyed seeing everyone’s tan, you can thank these ladies of Tre Soleil Day Spa.
As you all know, I am obsessed with passionate people who enjoy the work they do, (not really called work) These ladies spent all day until midnight spraying naked bodies, sweating, and probably suffering from a sore arm yet laughed their way through every minute, joking and giggling to my lame jokes and singing. I had such a great time getting sprayed down by them. And i’m sure they had a great time squeezing my ass too. =D Amazing job ladies.
The gorgeously gemmed Bikini suit specially crafted for me by my sponsor Ravish Sands.
Thank you for this beautiful masterpiece, I wouldn’t have felt so bright without it. <3
See how gorgeous this girl is? I mean.. gorgeous. But she wasn’t able to see that in her self. Frightened before the stage, I gave her my words and saw her eyes finally glisten and I knew that I flipped the switch I wanted to inside her head. I knew that that moment, she was going to feel amazing about herself not just for the stage but for life. Too often people don’t recognize the kind of beauty that they have . I’m glad this stunning beauty finally found hers <3
Beautiful, passionate, dedicated mothers over 35 who still find time to care for their bodies, their children and their household. They were all so sweet and hilarious to say the least.
So did I place? My answer to you is yes. Absolutely yes. I kept telling my fans that I had a huge surprise for them. And that surprise would be this:
I was given the grand opportunity by WBFF to sing and dedicate a song to Lyna Nguyen as I found through the journey, that June 29, was the very same day that she passed away. Something I was unaware of because I avoided thoughts of her due to grieving for so long. It’s mind blowing to me still how everything happening is falling into place, exactly the way it should be. The stricken pain I held inside of me for so long turned into purity and blissful energy which completely transformed my life around and it shows every second of every day. It felt amazing to sing and scream out loud from my soul and truth be told, she was right there all around me from beginning until the neverending end. This is me standing outside, smiling and breathing in fresh air before hitting the stage. And That is Lyna Nguyen, lighting up the sky while also lighting up my life
My throat dry from little water, my nose congested from getting lightly sick before the show, but my heart free from wanting to share Lyna’s love with the world. And so in this adventure I chose to take in my life, this wonderful journey, I told my story to an amazing audience as I dedicated
this song to her and all the beautiful loved ones shining down from paradise.
There You’ll Be- Faith Hill
I am still at a loss for words at the moments that I experienced last weekend. The lives who felt freely to approach me to share with me their heart felt stories thereafter. The tears of sadness in which turned into warm smiles. Because my heart touched theirs, and their heart, touched mine.
I couldn’t have moved forth towards another chapter in my life without the warm lending hand of Kevin Topka, a humble man who’s ambition and passion breaks through the roof. Thank you for all you do Kevin. And of course, a new kind of family — WBFF.
For those who dare to Live.
Ultimately, to each man and woman is their own. Your life is different than mine. My life is different than yours. Your story is different than mine. My story is different than yours. We all suffer from some kind of heartache that we can’t always feel freely to share with the open world. That’s why this world has me, someone who will bare every part of themselves fearlessly to each individual so that each individual can feel that they too, have someone to share their heart ache with and that yes, they too, can turn their lives around and excel far beyond their wildest imaginations.
At the end of every 24 hours, success is different to the individual beholder. To some people, the success meant getting through their contest prep to finally make it on stage, to some people it meant to overcome fear of the unknown and to some people success meant holding that trophy.
This is your life. You determine your own successes. You determine what it means to be successful to you .
Success to me meant all of that right there and all of this right here. What is happening to me in this present moment, the fact that I am alive, breathing, happy, well. That is success. And that is more than my small physical being could ever ask for.
In Love and in Light,