I am everything that I say I am. I speak it, I live it and I breathe it.
People often tell me they wish they had my motivation or ask me where my motivation comes from. My motivation has never been and will never be from the emptiness of extrinsic means. Money, fame, a mansion, a banging car, a glamorous purse, a shiny diamond, a hot bikini body, those kinds of motivational means are nice to have but if sought after, it fertilizes a person of a greed.
I, for one, am not greedy. The only thing I may be greedy for is a sense of world peace.
A line of prayer I send to God everynight since Lyna brought him into my life at 9 years old,
“Dear God, I pray for the world to be a beautiful, peaceful place.”
My motivation comes from a deeper understanding of myself, the inner values of who I am and who I want to become more of each and every hour of the 24 given to me. It comes from the inspiration of my life, now, shining down on me everyday from a beautiful kind of paradise.
Motivation isn’t something anyone can want and immediately have. It takes a training of thought to master the art of motivation. It takes experience of painships and pitfalls. How did I learn motivation from Lyna? Sitting by her side every day in the hospital as I lent my hand for her to squeeze oh so tight as I watched the doctors stick the sharp needle in her arm that she was so deathly afraid of. And when that wasn’t helpful, I lent her my palm to bite and mend away her pain. Her palms sweating heavy. Her face squinting. Yet, she did not allow a streak of a tear stream down her cheeks.
Sitting by her side every day as I watched her swallow big pills that she has always hated. Sitting by her side watching her open her eyes early in the morning to the rays of the beaming sunlight with every vein of strength she has left running inside of her. Yet day in and day out, she fought against every doctor’s words
You only have less than a year left to live.”
Lyna proved them wrong. We proved them wrong each and every time.
Day in and day out, she would walk around with the most gentle, spontaneous smile, enthusiastically greeting every person she surpasses, patting every barking puppy along the road, talking to every person she encounters, touching every human heart beat with her mere, pure hearted kindness.
The logic of cancer, the logic of a doctors words, the logic of medical assessments, told her that she would be weaker by the day and death was soon heading towards her direction but her heart, her drive, her imagination and her energy was much stronger and powerful than logic.
Her motivation to want to live the kind of future she longed for was much more intense than logic.
We both stayed optimistic together. At the beginning, I laughed when the doctors told her she had little time left. Not because I was pretending with myself, but because knowing Lyna and knowing our relationship, I knew all we needed was each other to push her through. I knew that better than anyone. Together, our optimistic buoyancy was fierce.
You try doubting us and telling us we can’t do something, and we will silently prove you wrong.
Her hair began to shed, and so I kneeled down on the floor and strand by strand, I collected each piece.
“LOL, Sandy what are you doing?”
“I’m gonna save your hair in a jar and make a wig out of it for you HAHAHA.”
All the grown ups laughed at my optimism. “This girl is crazy” But was I really crazy? Was it really a funny ordeal or did they just not have the same instilled belief in Lyna and faith and imagination that I did?
Too often people listen to logic.
Logic doesn’t tell you anything more than what should really be heard—
your very own inner voice screaming inside your soul.
My inspiration is a source of my motivation. Because of her, I am everything that I am.
My creative soul, my daring footprints, my tough love, my gentle touch, my audaciously bold moves to chase after anything I want in my life with not a moment of hesitation.
Everyday Lyna woke up fighting against what logic told her she would be — dead.
Doctors daring to give this trooper of a human being a deadline on her own life.
Who is to say, and who is to determine anything about your life but YOU?
Yet everyday she woke up ready to fight another battle, and four years, my baby girl and I, won every single battle of every given day. Her physical body is no longer here, but guess what?
We never lost. We’re still reigning on top of the world. We all are.
Protecting Lyna as I protect my Mother and I protect this World filled with people that I sincerely care for. People like you, my pure hearted reader. That’s my motivation. That’s what drives me hungry every waking morning. I crave togetherness and peace. Equanimity and Bliss.
You are much better off pursuing too much than too little. Your life wasn’t made for you to tip toe around. Tip toe around the opinion of others. Tip toe around society. Tip toe around your greatest desires. If you want something BAD enough, you stomp your foot down hard and you dare yourself to face the crowd and walk straight through like you were born with the heavy foot of a giant.
Today, take a look in a mirror. Face your Self. And recognize that this moment is all you have. There’s no holding back for anyone or anything. Always do more than you can talk and always listen to the most silent yet loudest voice inside of you.
In Love and In Light,
© Sandy Vo 2014